Mastering your craft to achieve elite performance demands an unbalanced investment of focus, dissolving all your energy into refining one pursuit above all else. Mastering the deepest bonds with another human demands an unbalanced surrender of self, dissolving all your identity into finding yourself in the other. The former are some of the greatest performers in their field. The latter, some of the nicest souls. The societal expectation for the topmost performers to also be the nicest people is so misplaced.