As a child, when you expressed a need but it didn’t work, or it came with a social cost (embarrassment, rejection, being seen as weak or burdensome), you often adapt by becoming self-sufficient. It feels like a strength, for that context.
However, what happens over the years is that you organize your life to need as little from others as possible. This also means you can’t be held accountable by others, can’t receive from others, can’t be pulled forward by others.
The result is that this creates a life organized around what you’re capable of alone and not what’s possible with others. Competence quietly narrows your world.